Letting Go Of Love...

Okay, peeps sorry for not blogging for ages but I was BORED at home plus my final paper had ended on Tuesday so yeah, I was just being a little piggy as usual...

Anyway, there's something on my mind that was really bugging me these few days and I feel like I should express myself in words...It's something that I've kept inside my heart for a long time and reflecting back, I know I was a fool but I'm grown now and I know the only way to make myself stronger is to let someone go...

To my special someone,

Well, to be honest, I miss those days of walking by you and seeing you with your friends, having a great time. I miss those days of school where you walk by me without a care of my feelings inside. I miss those days that I watched you smile warmly at everyone else but me and I guess I was the only fool in this game for years. Thanks to a special friend who listened to me and allowed me to express what I'd kept inside, I know my mistakes now and the truth is I wasn't willing to let you go because I didn't want to and not because I really fell for you but it was because of the guilt I felt for putting you through the pain of losing someone dear to you thanks to a dumb mistake of mine. You were always my knight in shining armor in my imaginations but the simple truth is, reality is the only thing that matters so this letter to you is just to let you know that I'm sorry for messing up your life and this is the final time I'll ever think of you.

My feelings has changed now so I'm letting you go now and deleting your number from my phone to forget about you. Let's just say I'm moving on from that painful past and now, it's time for me to close that chapter in my life...Goodbye, special one..

I know what the saying "If You Love Someone, Set Them Free" but how can you possibly love someone who hates everything about you? That was what I faced for several years and I used to hurt because I wished that things were different but the real matter was nothing would ever happen... No matter how hard I tried, the gap just got wider since we're like Venus and Mars.

So, thank you for the memories but it's time for this story to have a new chapter for me. A game needs two players to work but I was the only one dumb enough to be caught in this game so it's my fault from the start. I used to blame you for this pain inside me and I used to hate listening to sad love songs because it reminded me of you. I used to cry whenever I watched those sad moments in any love movies where the girl gets hurt by the guy she loves because that was exactly how you pushed me away. I know you think I'm pretty strong and that I'd probably forgotten about you since last year but I'm pretty vulnerable and I didn't want you to see me cry because it would have showed you how much I cared.

I'm not those others girls what you are used to being with and I could even put on a smile even when I was dying inside because of you but that's all different now. I know now that I'm tough and in the end, I won this battle and my heart is alive again so thank you for bringing out the best in me.

That's all I have to say for the last time to this person so thank you again and goodbye...for good...

Sorry if I sound emo right now but now that I'm free to do anything, I had a lot of time to think back on a lot of mistakes that I did and I'm planning to not make the same mistakes again... I hope my next post wouldn't be so emo as this one is...

Thank you for reading my deep thoughts that was disturbing me for so long...

THE END!!!