Monday, April 26, 2010

My Dark Clouds are Gone!!!

Finally, all my problems which I'd faced is OVER and i am so relieved about it!!! Hopefully i wouldn't have to go through that pain again and learn from my experience this time!!! Thank you to all those whom have helped me through those difficult times and keep my feet on the ground!!!
video

Sunday, April 18, 2010

PART THREE

Now, I have my reasons to be pissed at the Royalties excluding Xania, Kat and Apple whom did no wrong towards me.

They question my loyalty and friendship and I hate being judged by people especially when I have done no wrong and my friendship is sincere.

They refuse to accept others without a proper reason and shut them off harshly. Maybe they think that they are better than everyone else.

I hate being told what to do. Like balance my time with my friends? Like I can’t think of that!

I hate Liars! If it wasn’t about ‘him’ then why would you mention about him unless you take it personally! Why would you mind if she did ask about him when you claimed that you have stopped liking ‘him’?

I am so angry right now that it’s surprising that I managed to type everything with correct spellings and proper grammar!!! I can’t believe that this is happening. Seriously, you have never seen me mad before but watch out as things will get really ugly when I do!! I have had enough of this useless fight. WE should not be prejudice against people until you get to know them!!! *sigh* I need to stop stressing myself out by doing some simple yoga!!! Where’s Edward when I need him to comfort me?

END OF PART THREE!!!

PART TWO

Well, that was what had happened on last Friday and I broke into tears after that phone call with no one to talk to about my pain inside which hurted badly. I couldn’t concentrate during my tuition examinations and I couldn’t sleep. I managed to cry myself to sleep and wake up with red eyes and a minor headache. My friends are my life and this entire problem started because of ME!!! So, I am depressed. Right now, I’m unable to speak to them and pleaded to them to stop pestering me with smses and calls as I need more time to heal. Shelly called me and told me to read Cosmos blog and she was upset about all the lies written about her. Here’s how harsh it was:

WHO DOES THAT B***H THINK SHE IS? SHE IS A FAKER AND I CAN SEE THROUGH HER DISGUISE!!! SO WHAT IF YOU LIKE HIM? THE ONLY REASON THAT SHE BEFRIENDED US WAS TO GAIN INFORMATION ABOUT HIM FROM US!!! CAN’T SHE SEE THAT WE ALL HATE HER? WE DON’T EVEN WANNA GET TO KNOW YOU!!! JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE FRIENDS WITH MY FRIENDS DOESN’T MEAN THAT YOU ARE WELCOMED HERE. YOU MIGHT THINK THAT I’M A CUTE AND SWEET GIRL BUT YOU HAVE MESSED WITH THE WRONG GIRL!!!

Now, that really shocked me as I read her blog as I had never expected her to be so mean to anyone but apparently she is. Here’s all her post on facebook on my friend, Shelly.
Can you just leave us alone? I want you OUT! Isn't it freaking O-B-V-I-O-U-S that we hate you????? Stop sticking to us like GLUE! April 10 2010
Because I don't like her, I never did. She thinks she's such a great actress....well I bet you didn't know that I HATE YOU! :D Rae and 2PM, thanks for putting a smile on my face. April 10 2010
Quote from the group "we hate annoying people" Remember, when somebody annoys you, it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and BITCH slap that motherfcker in the face. [Man...it really makes me wanna slap her now. OMG RAE STOP ME!] April 10 2010
if one day you realised that I stopped talking to you, then it's clear that you're the one I'm talking about. Get away from me, faker. April 15
Your picture puts a big smile on my face =) not like that XXX, makes me puke! Blekk! April 17 2010
Can I just delete xxx from my friends' list? April 15

And she also posted on facebook something about me.

You don’t deserve to be in Royalties anymore.

My name wasn’t written there but after the talk with Rae Rae well I knew that it was me whom she was referring to. The wound in my heart grew worse and I tried my best to be strong but how much more can a mangled heart take? Sorry but I need to catch my breath before I go on.

END OF PART TWO!!!

STUCK IN BETWEEN TWO GOOD THINGS IN LIFE

Several days ago, I decided to call up my close friend named Rae Rae to catch up with her as I hadn’t spoke to her for a while due to my busy schedule filled with extra-curricular activities and tuition classes. This is a similar conversation of those several phone calls which changed my life (I’d changed several parts which aren’t related or important but the key points are still here)

Ashley: Hey Rae! How are you?
Rae Rae: Just fine. I missed you. So, why are you calling me?
Ashley: Well, I was curious about something that Cosmos (Another friend) had posted
about on her facebook account several days ago. It said something about her
dislike towards another person so when I asked her, she told me to ask you. So,
who is it?
Rae Rae: Um… How do I put this to words…erm…Could I call you back? I need to call
Cosmos to talk to her.
Ashley: (suspicious but follows along) Sure. Um…okay then.
Rae Rae: I missed you.
Ashley: I missed you too. (Hangs up)

Second Phone Call

Ashley: Hey! So, um… who is it? What happened?
Rae Rae: Erm…why do you wanna know? Are you asking on someone’s behalf? Like
Shelly?
Ashley: (shocked) No. Why would I do that??? (mad at that remark but ignores it) I just
Wanted to know about it. Cosmos refuses to tell me when I’d confronted her
Several days ago so I’m asking you. Who is it?
Rae Rae: Erm…Okay. Who do you think it is?
Ashley: I don’t know. Erm…is it me or Mikayla (another friend)? < Actually I had
Already guessed whom it was referring to but I didn’t wanna say it out>
Rae Rae: No!!! Alrite then. It’s Shelly (New student in my school and my new friend)
Ashley: (Shocked) Huh? Oh. Why?
Rae: Are you close to Cosmos and the other Royalties (Our own friends group)?
Ashley: Yeah. Why?
Rae Rae: Well, several of them had complained about you. They said that you have been
Close to Shelly and Maggie lately.
Ashley: (Mad but controls temper) Yeah. So what? Who are they who said that? I wanna
Know who.
Rae Rae: Okay. Cosmos, Mikayla and Elaine. Cosmos said that you have been really
Close to them and you haven’t talked to her for a long time.
Ashley: That’s because she didn’t come to school and I talked to her on
Wednesday to discuss about the dancing thing with Shelly.
Rae Rae: Okay then. Imagine that there were two boats before you and you had to choose
One. Which would you choose? The Royalties or Shelly & Maggie?
Ashley: Both then. Can’t I be in the middle? Choice that I make in this question>
Rae Rae: (in a firm tone) No. You can only choose one based on your friendship.
Ashley: (confused) Erm… um… I don’t know. Can’t I be in the middle?
Rae Rae: No. You MUST choose one boat so which one?
Ashley: (pressured to answer, stressed out) Erm…the Royalties. Point but honestly which friends would ask their friend to choose between two
Groups of friends? It didn’t seem right.>
Rae Rae: Okay.
Ashley: What else did she say? (close to tears)
Rae Rae: She complained about Shelly and she couldn’t tell you because you were
Always in two unwanted companies and busy with them.
Ashley: No. She could have pulled me away from them and told me but she didn’t. Even
When I stood in front of her class with Kat, herself and Apple. She didn’t say a
Word. We were alone without those two. So, what is she talking about?
Rae Rae: She couldn’t. She said that she couldn’t because you were surrounded by those
Two girls. Even in the morning before the bell rings, you are always talking to
Them. Anyone who talks to me!!! Ask Ejay!!!>
Ashley: No!!! What do you expect me to do? Sit by myself everyday without any friends
And only with the Royalties who are on duty? I need some company and they
Are there too so why can’t I talk? (Voice cracking but holding back tears)
Rae Rae: I meant don’t be so close to them. You can talk but balance it out.
Ashley: I am trying to mix them to make my life easier but apparently some people can’t
Seem to get along with Shelly and Maggie. Mixing them? M&M sweets?>
Rae Rae: Don’t they have their own group of friends? Maggie has her own friends so
Can’t she sit with them? And why is Shelly sitting with you?
Ashley: Maggie had no one else as her boyfriend has left the school!!! I’m the closest to
Her in class!!!< Rae’s comment made me really pissed> She has no choice and
Shelly is with Jac. Are you sure that Cosmos doesn’t hate Shelly because she
Likes ‘him’?
Rae Rae: Of course not. She said that she is over him. < Something that I will point out
Later>
Ashley: Are you sure about that? She could have told you a different story but inside…
Rae Rae: She does not like him anymore. She hates it when Shelly ask her about ‘him’
And also her attitude.
Ashley: What’s wrong with her attitude and why would she ask Cosmos about ‘him’?
I’m closer to Shelly than Cosmos so there should be no reason to do so.
Rae Rae: She acts like a …b***h! And when I came to visit you all at school, she rolled
Her eyes. < Another misunderstanding>
Ashley: No she didn’t. She can’t help her attitude as someone had influenced her a little.
She liked you. She said that you were nice. I’m pretty sure that there’s some-
Thing else to it.
Rae Rae: So if you had to save someone between Cosmos and Shelly, who would you
Choose to save?
Ashley: Obviously both. I can’t let any of my friends die!!!
Rae Rae: Okay then. If both of them had a problem then who would you help?
Ashley: < Either answer and I’m screwed> Erm…depends on how serious it is.
Rae Rae: No. It’s just a problem that they face. So who? Based on who you are
Closer to.
Ashley: Erm…um…I don’t know. I will just help both.
Rae Rae: No. Only one answer.
Ashley: < As a friend to both, I am entitled to help both of them> um…Mayee then.
Rae Rae: Okay. Just spend more time with Cosmos and the rest. She is your best
Friend. < Another thing to point out>
Ashley: Hello? I had to be close you all before we became close friends, right?
So, why can’t I be close to them?
Rae Rae: Because Cosmos will NEVER accept them into our friends group!!! We
Are your close friends!!!
Ashley: Yeah but Shelly and I have much more in common compared to Cosmos and
Me!!! Its so unfair towards Maggie & Shelly. < Purely cruel!!!> It’s a free world
And there are no rules which said that I can’t only be close to a group. How about
When I head to college? (Furious)
Example:
Girl: Hey!!! Wanna be friends with me?
Ashley: Oh!!! Sorry but I can’t as I already have a group of friends and they don’t allow
Me to befriend anyone else.
Rae Rae: All the Royalties will never accept them!!! They hate them!!!
Ashley: They have done nothing wrong! Anyway, I have tuition now! Bye!
Rae Rae: You know we still love you, right? Sorry for breaking your heart. Are you al-
Right?
Ashley: (holding back tears) Yeah. I’m fine. Um…bye! (hangs up)

*blows nose* I need to stop now as I am in tears while I recall this bitter conversation.
END OF PART ONE!!!